How I Persuaded My Parents

When I was kid I used to always get my way I used to always get my way. Almost always! I didn’t ask for anything outlandish or crazy! I just asked for normal things like staying up an hour later or playing with my friends or an extra piece of dessert. Things like that.

I didn’t get my way when it came to staying home from school or going to live with someone else (because I thought I hated my mom and dad for something stupid at the time).

But there were some things that my parents said no to that I really wanted, and I knew that it wasn’t something bad but instead something I thought would be fun.

Those types of things were:

• Buying a saxophone to play.
• Going on a sleepover with my friends.
• Purchasing the latest video game.
• Getting internet on our computer.

Of course there were many other things that I got but those examples portray the idea of things I got. Those types of things were objects or experiences I wanted because I thought they would be fun and bring my happiness.

My parents on the other hand viewed them as unnecessary or money-costing items. Or they just didn't want to deal with the request I was making - like dropping me off and picking me up from a sleep-over.

Now...I always got my way with those things. Always. I can say that with complete clarity. Why? Because I knew how to persuade my parents into saying yes.

Even at a young age I was far more advanced then the 'ask mom and if she says no ask dad' technique. Although I did do that technique first, I knew that it normally wouldn’t work as they had their communication skills down pretty darn good.

So I had to come up with more creative ways to persuade them to see my way and here are two of those ways.

They were the two different techniques that I mainly used to persuade my parents. They are pretty close in nature but they are delivered in a different way.

Writing them a letter – I knew that if I wrote them a letter they wouldn’t have a chance to interject their own feelings. In a way I was doing all the talking without actually talking.

In my letter I would always include the why, how, who, when, where, and what of it all. I expressed my feelings and made it clear as to why I wanted these things in my life. It was honest, but it was packed with information.

Then I would sit back and stay in my room. I would avoid my parents because I knew that if I talked to them to soon they would say no. I didn’t realize at the time that giving them this time was letting them ponder my request, remove their anger, and sleep on it.

The letter always worked. I only used it when I saw no other way to get what I wanted. I didn’t want to overuse it!

Sharing my feelings – Instead of arguing why I should get it and how they were not being fair I would hit them where it hurts; in their parent-centered feelings.

I would literally talk about my feelings about the situation and how sad I was – without laying blame, without asking for the thing again, and without stomping my feet. I was so sad that I after I shared my feelings with them I would sit in my room for as long as it took. Essentially this was a tantrum without the loudness of it all. It worked. One of them would eventually feel so bad that they would convince the other one to let me have it.

That's how I did it when I was a kid.

Nowadays I use other techniques for persuasion. I've learned how to persuade people by being positive. I've also learned how to effectively argue my point in a way that doesn't hurt their ego - which normally results in a good ending for me as well.

If you are the type of person who stomps your feet, cries, whines, and complains until you get your way then you may want to change your approach - unless you are a kid, because you will most likely end up not persuading people but rather pushing people away. I mean not everyone feels the same way about us as our family did!